Radioactive

As promised, this blog has become a place to share with you the things that I learn along my creative journey. My hope is that maybe somebody out there can benefit somehow from the milestones and set-backs that I experience and share.

I recently shot a music video and sang with the Salt Lake Pops Orchestra at the Grand Theater in Salt Lake City Utah.  The SLPops is an orchestra that focuses on modern pop music and brings in artists to sing with them.  I met the director of the orchestra two years ago and co-wrote a song with him for a cine-play called "Rings of the Tree" and was invited back to sing a song with his orchestra.

I was called up the day before Nathaniel wanted to record and asked to learn the song "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons (which I had never heard before at the time.)  I went to his studio to record the next day and learned two key changes on the spot that he added in as well as singing with a half second delay because the equipment was broken.  I felt pretty proud of myself for going with the flow and trusting that it would be cleaned up in post. The whole thing was nerve-wracking, but exhilarating at the same time.  I enjoy the pace that Nathaniel works at and his "just do it" attitude.  He's one of the people in my life that have inspired me to just "put it out there" without waiting for it to be perfect. Often times perfection doesn't come and the person who refuses to move forward because of imperfection never stretches and never grows.

I was asked to shoot the music video with short notice as well.  I was in the middle of a film shoot and only had one day available to shoot the video with the orchestra.  Luckily it fell on the same day and I just went for it.

I had a lot of fun singing with the orchestra.  Their music is so beautiful and I am simply awe inspired by what they create.  I felt so grateful to be a part of it.

A few months later the music video was released and the youtube feedback from the fans were overwhelmingly negative.  They didn't like several things about the video, but mainly they didn't like me.

At first it was hard to swallow. I knew that the negative comments would continue to come, so I had to learn to somehow be okay with it.  After all, they didn't know what circumstances we had recorded under, the time and budget crunch we had to work with, and I was being compared to the original singer.

I think that's what finally made me okay with it.  I knew they were comparing our piece to the original and it was a much different feel.  I also knew that people were unaware of what circumstances we had recorded under, the time and budget crunch we had to work with, and I was being compared to the original singer.

I was asked to sing live with the orchestra for that weekend and part of me wanted to back out.  Finally I decided that even if people didn't like it, I could live with that.  What I could not live with is being a coward.  Backing out of something just because I was afraid of what other people thought.  I love music and singing and I decided that's what really mattered.  A quote came to my mind and gave me the courage to continue:

"Man in the Arena”

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. -Theodore Roosevelt


Those words continue to inspire me and continue to make me want to go out and try new things.  This particular video may not have been a "success" but I can tell you that I believe it's a stepping stone and that other ones will be stepping stones as well, through failure & success.

One thing I HAVE learned since then is the importance of contracts. SLPops released the video before my consent and had not fully fixed the delay I was asked to record with. The result was a very innacurate representation of my abilities, and I paid the price through internet slaughter. The only redemption that came from the experience was learning my worth is not determined by the opinions of others & continuing to get up every time I fall.